v      Blanche Spitandshwit, played by Juliet Mills (with silicone by Avon)

v      Katherine, sweet sister to Blanche, played by Hayley Mills

v      Yvonne and Bart, parents , by Katharine Hepburn and Hugh Hefner

v      Snoopie, a mythical beagle plagiarizer, played by Snoopie

v      Walter, the princes footman & Kates spouse, played by Mel Brooks

v      Norman, Prince Consort-consort-consort, son of the King of Xaoahgi, ( Burt Reynolds)

v      Queeniereads, honorable mention in Chapter one, played by Susan Sarandon

v      Federica, better known as Freddi, illegitimate daughter of Norman and Blanche, played by Sally Field

v      Gypsyqueen Rose Lee, talented dancer, played by Betty Grable

v      Niki,Senior, mother to an upcoming persona (Shelly Winters)

v      Lady NickelNickel and Lady PennyPenny, mother-and-daughter handmaidens(and foot!) to Queeniereads, played by Joan and Melissa Rivers;

v      ELHS1868, imaginary childhood friend of young Freddi, played by Chevy Chase;

v      Percival, brother to the Prince, friend to the bartender, (Jon Voight)

v      Josette, town crier in Blowzy (Sandra Dee); Baywitch and Tercec, rivalling soothsayers at the castle (extras from Baywatch, non-union)

v      Aerrick, Amberina, China, Gidget, Malo and Shamrock, long-time friends to Freddi (the chorus girls in the front row from Flashdance)

v      King Cholesterol, father to Norman and Percival, grand poopah of the kingdom (Dom DeLuise)

v      Wonderwoman and Ruth, the kings clerical assistants, by Linda Carter & Donna Mills

v      Pupshin, darling and faithful german shepherd to Freddi (Lassie, a shoo-in for best dramatic actor)

v      Edna Mae, Mastiff tormenter to Pupshin (Oscar the Grouch)

v      Kateb, Freddis niece, daughter of Katherine and Walter (King Kong)

v      Terriess, militant leader for Womens Rights (Gloria Steinem)

v      Niki and Suggie and Swbear, castle entertainers (real Dixie Chicks)

v      Moms, Mastifflover and Mmarti, longtime hangabouts at the castle (Janet, Joyce and Karen Lennon, eldest Lennon sisters of Lawrence Welk fame)

v      Lady Kitten and Maureen, castle spies for Freddi and her friends (Marilyn Monroe and Jayne Mansfield)

v      Gawain, Freddis heart-holder (Frankie Avalon)