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'It was a dark and stormy night. Per usual, Kate and I were working the tavern alone. Mother Yvonne had one of her melancholy episodes again, resulting in her taking to bed. [Father Bart had left us on the night of my 12th birthday; exactly ten years from the day my sister Kate showed her crinolines to the boys at school again. He said she was a wanton disgrace. It really was just an excuse for old Bart to take off. Kate is the second of us seven daughters. Bart blamed our mother Yvonne for "not putting her heart" into having sons.. Mom said later, 'it's a matter of giving it up for the queen.' She spoke oddly some times. Maybe that's where Kate inherited her disposition? Anyway, it broke Kate's heart to think she had made our Father leave our mother, and our 4 much younger sisters. To this day, she suffers blackout spells, memory lapses, and won't let anyone even see her ankles, poor soul.] |
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A noise began at the front door, and the wind literally blew in a man and his horse! The horse left a sizeable donation with steam. The man excused himself, parked his horse outside and came in with a small group of noblemen and a footservant. The footservant winked at Kate and said he would remove the horse's gift(s), if she would sit a spell with him. She shrieked, ran to the back and joined Mother Yvonne. The footman looked forlorn, but cleaned nonetheless. His heart was set on my sibling.
 The handsome horseman was our very own Prince Norman!!!!! His aquamarine eyes immediately lit on my corset as it literally trembled and glowed. Inside my heart was singing: 'Raindrops and roses and warm woolen mittens' to the tune of an old mystical lute we call Bolero! I had never felt so much lust and warmth and love and fear and....oh, it cannot be captured with mere words! This was my man, my life, my passion, and my pot of gold!! This one was capable of...well, looking at my bosom! I needed more, more, more. I asked him if he was dumb and deaf, just to get his attention to my visage! He looked up for a millisecond and said: "PHJKRFTTHH?" I said he probably could and he said: "YHGFDREH?" There was no question of my answer. I said he was welcome to my bed after a merry repast. {Yvonne told me once that it is how a woman rocks a young man's world. I guess she knows.] Then after the repast, I could give it up for the queen, I figured, though I had no intention of telling a dead woman my sacrifice. You see, this poor dear soul mate of mine was 19 and motherless. I was 24 and figured I could handle the jobs of mother, lover and wife. After all, I ran a tavern single-handedly, had I not? [PREGNANT PAUSE, GENTLE READERS}.............................. 
In the morning, I woke with my true love by my side. The spittle falling out the side of his mouth was adorable. The way he held the pillow close to his face and scratched his itches was entrancing. His exhausted state was very apparent, as I had been especially generous in my sacrifices for our beloved late Queen Lutka. When he woke, his eyes fell to the same spot all the young men in the village were drawn to...I wondered if my virginless status was now written there? His first words were: "I am dedjucating the mountains today. They were tubby named after my bertrode. I cannot bring myself to nem them after endyjun but joo, my jear... Branch." In the romance, love, and awe of the moment, plus the fact that I did not want to call attention to his speech impediment before our wedding, I kept myself from correcting my name...a small matter after what he had just told me...to be honored so! He said: They chellbe called 'Twin Mountains' after joo, my Branch, because I luvved joo so!!!" My heart was so full I wet the bed! May haps it was not my heart 'twas full, but nonetheless...I thanked him with another quick gift (in the queen's name as proper). Later, we spooned and talked again. I said: "Do you think your friend Bertrode will be devastated that I am nee-nee nee-nee neenee going to have the mountains named after me?"
He got up, went to my chamber pot to flush the spirits from his system. He rinsed his mouth and looked at me, carefully keeping his eyes above my gorgeous neck. "I said my 'betrothed', my fair beauty. I am to be married in a fortnight to a woman who will teach me how to read. She is blonde and wealthy and wears feathers quite well. I hope you will become a handmaiden in my castle, so I may love you well and often.
I was stunned to silence.
This was the second pregnant pause in my short life...the last one a whole lot more fun.
After what seemed like an eternity, I spoke. "Damn your right eye. It will be plucked from you quite soon. My children and I one day will be richer than you. Mother told me to feed you with a rich repast. I have done so. Now I must be with child, as that is how she told me it is done. My child will one day take over your kingdom as its rightful queen, As my heart was not in it, either (I lied), I shall have a daughter! Those are my 3 curses on you and yours. Never ignore a Blowzy curse!!! At this very moment your horse is starting the constipation state, to be unloosed on the day you and your bride trod the bridle path. BE gone. My heart is full broke! "
I went into a deep trance then and did not wake for two days. Me and mum and Katherine, all abed. The tavern was closed for remodeling. A mighty seed was sown this day, one to change the course of lives from Blowzy to Xaohgi!!!!!!!!!!!!!
End of Chapter 1 |
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